We Are What We Think Are

How did we get into this sorry situation? I’m not channeling an Oriental Zen Master with long white moustache here, but I am to say that WE ourselves are to blame. It all started in 1998, when our government turned itself into a grand political version of Hollywood, with a  Famas Hall of Famer serving the Top Post. Hadn’t we disgraced our country by turning our leadership selection process into a popularity contest, not by the method of meritocracy, we wouldn’t be here. Sure, getting the poor by your side and promising them a better life can be touching and ambitious, but you think catchy slogans were platform enough for you? Low IQ is different from common sense. Even 170 IQ points can’t get you common sense. It’s not a gift from God too. It is a practice of judgment. In short lack of common sense is by choice. We chose the sides back then, now enjoy the bitter fruits of hindsight and the lack of sentido kumon.

Prepare for Midterms, Please REVIEW

When I write about movies, I don’t call them reviews. I won’t even call it critiques. It won’t bear a stamp “dissertation” if I’m about to write a lengthy piece postulating the theories of DW Griffith’s The Birth of A Nation. I don’t even understand why some “movie review” sounds like an instruction manual of a vacuum cleaner. Also, critics dismantle a movie piece by piece and examine the parts of it as if it is some motor engine. I’m not against it. I’m sure one needs to scrutinize the craft of a movie, for the purpose of education and aid of judgment. A critic might pick a director’s brain piece by piece not unlike Lecter’s and try to see what the director could’ve envisioned. The scientific view of a movie may also be useful when some of the pivotal aspects of a movie is essential to learning. During my B.S. Psychology days our lessons will be supplemented by writing movie reviews of flicks like A Beautiful Mind, Silence of the Lambs and Fight Club. There were guide questions and character tables, a truly scientific dissection of an artform.

Critics provide us a value for our money by telling us, take note, what they feel about the movie. What they feel is the keyword here, for we have different emotional reactions for different reasons. What they feel for the movie will be different from what you feel. Critics might say Daniel Craig is the worst James Bond ever, while you think that a man with a license to kill should look like a killer, hence the perfect embodiment will be Daniel Craig.

 

I don’t want to call what I write as movie reviews because to review a piece is akin to college students preparing for a midterm exam. It makes the movie scientific and makes it sound dour. For me, movie is an artform. You don’t take a look at the La Giaconda and hypothesize Da Vinci’s choice of colors, the algorithm of the patterns, the heaviness of the strokes and the nary imperfections that you can see with closer inspection. You just take a look and feel, not to engage in a scientific inner monologue. It is the belief I held onto since I was a kid. Movies are just too powerful for me to look under a microscope. Like all the artforms out there, the best way to see is to look at the big picture.

The “nasyonal artis” said something

Supposedly National Artist Carlo J. Caparas was on Correspondent saying something like this: “Gagamitin ko ang 1 million pesos na grant para matulungan ang mga batang mahusay gumuhit. Narinig ko yung ibang national artist kukuha ng grant yun naman pala eh malapit na kasi ang birthday.” I am Jack’s aching Abdominal Muscles! That was a piece of effing entertainment. All uttered with the apparent seriousness and snicker familiar to CJC. As if he knew something about what’s going on! Hey CJC, I admit that I watched your massacre movies when I was a kid, but I worked with the government for five years! Any financial transaction with the government entails a structured budget proposal, budgetary considerations and austere auditor scrutiny. A 10,000 peso budget for let’s say, Street Lighting and Beautification is subject to auditing and thorough review. It can even get shelved if it is found wanting. When the money is released, it doesn’t end with that. After the project has been completed the requestor will submit a written documentation of the said project, accompanied with pictures, transaction receipts and procurement orders. It’s not that easy kid I’m telling you. So don’t you ever think that one-million-pesos is just a “pabeerday” for some pensioned national artist. He’ll/she’ll go through a Commision On Audit red-tape madness before getting a glimpse of it.
When the national fiasco caught fire weeks ago I honestly admit that I passed on the issue, not minding that you Mr. CJC got that award. It meant that I thought that you might really deserve that plum so I never threw an effing opinion about your conferment. But you ratted yourself to me when you said those words, now hear me: Stay away from the artists man! Your statements reek with irresponsiblity and flawed judgment! You will never be as close to Lino Brocka or Ishmel Bernal! You’re not even a dent in Rio Alma’s universe. You are the reflection of the current dilemma of our artists. Only the Privileged Ones got noticed.

To My Moonlight

Thank You:

For the repligo to which I can read e-books. For believing that my dream is now within our reach. For your patience, understanding  and support. For the rock music that we both sang from our hearts, making me think you’re indeed Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter. For the movie marathons we endured. For making me realize that the sunset is prettier with you by my side. For making me see the beauty of the moon even more. For the lavish foodtrips. For planning our other trips and destinations.

For being my Moonlight. For making me feel proud for myself. For letting me cry sometimes. For sharing these four years with me. For possessing me, for owning me and making me dedicated to your name. For the time we spent haggling with the vendors of DV and Quiapo.

You know what, these barrage of thank-you’s won’t do justice for what we have right now. We have a forever to be grateful for. Thanking You for what we had in Four Years past is just like me giving another compliment to you. What do I have to give, all that I have to receive, all that we had and all the good and the bad are the things that make us. For now, accept this message as my sign of gratitude. I love You and always will.

The Proust Questionnaire

Wandering aimlessly in the blogosphere is not an altogether timewasting experience. Though I believe that 99% of information that can be found on net is junk (to coin Ms. Zafra which she coined from Roddenberry), serendipity is still the web’s best asset. I found this questionnaire from marionsilver’s blog, supposedly answered by Marcel Proust himself (or did he?). I was compelled to answer one myself. Those texts colored in orange (or red. I don’t know) are marionsilver’s exact answers.

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Proust: To be separated from Mama.
My answer: To find myself crying alone in my birthday

Where would you like to live?
Proust: To live in contact with those I love, with the beauties of nature, with a quantity of books and music, and to have, within easy distance, a French theater.
My answer: Batanes Island. Never mind the frequent storms that batter the island, it’s just so beautiful to behold.

To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Proust: To a life deprived of the works of genius.
My answer: Living an unhealthy life.

Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Proust: Those of romance and poetry, those who are the expression of an ideal rather than an imitation of the real.
My answer: Jason Bourne, Kenshee Himura and Hannibal Lecter.

Who are your favorite characters in history?
Proust: A mixture of Socrates, Pericles, Mahomet, Pliny the Younger and Augustin Thierry.
My answer: King Leonidas, Alexander the Great, Hannibal of Carthage, Kublai Khan, I-shall-retarn Mcarthur and all the great generals of both world wars.

Who are your favorite heroines in real life?
Proust: A woman of genius leading an ordinary life.
My answer: My mother and grandmother. (same as marionsilver’s answer)

Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Proust: Those who are more than women without ceasing to be womanly; everything that is tender, poetic, pure and in every way beautiful
My answer: Sarah Connor, Nina Myers and Kate Austen

Your favorite painter?
Proust: Meissonier.
My answer: I’m not a follower of this medium, though comic books might be the closest to this one. I like Arnold Arre.

Your favorite musician?
Proust: Mozart.
My answer: It’s Metallica brother!

The quality you most admire in a man?
Proust: Intelligence, moral sense.
My answer: Sense of camaraderie and humility

The quality you most admire in a woman?
Proust: Gentleness, naturalness, intelligence
My answer: The usual men’s stuff, plus simplicity, humility, and strength

Your favorite virtue?
Proust: All virtues that are not limited to a sect: the universal virtues
My answer: sense of responsibility

Your favorite occupation?
Proust: Reading, dreaming, and writing verse
My answer: being paid to watch and write about movies

Who would you have liked to be?
Proust: Since the question does not arise, I prefer not to answer it. All the same, I should very much have liked to be Pliny the Younger.
My answer: Jack Bauer and the elementary version of myself.

Your most marked characteristic?
Proust: A craving to be loved, or, to be more precise, to be caressed and spoiled rather than to be admired
My answer: my advice about lovelife and my huge shoulders.

What do you most value in your friends?
Proust: Tenderness – provided they possess a physical charm which makes their tenderness worth having
My answer: sense of camaraderie and endurance against bottles of beers. (I know I know very shallow, but do you really seek the depth of your friend if your friendship is true?)

What is your principal defect?
Proust: Lack of understanding; weakness of will
My answer: sloth, procrastination and arrogance

What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
Proust: Never to have known my mother or my grandmother
My answer: Memory loss (marionsilver’s answer) and dying alone in bed or in a dark, blind alley.

What is your favorite color?
Proust: Beauty lies not in colors but in their harmony
My answer: Black and red

What is your favorite flower?
Proust: Hers – but apart from that, all
My answer: (Side comment: “Hers?” Oh, Proust, you naughty, naughty boy, you… wait a minute, weren’t you gay?) I like roses. (marionsilver: Proust’s gay??? I didn’t know that). My answer is hers too.

What is your favorite bird?
Proust: The swallow
My answer: Philippine eagle

Who are your favorite prose writers?
Proust: At the moment, Anatole France and Pierre Loti
Your answer: Jessica Zafra, Luis Katigbak, Igan d’Bayan, Butch Dalisay. (Yes, some of them are Philippine Star columnists)

Who are your favorite poets?
Proust: Baudelaire and Alfred de Vigny
My answer: Rio Alma, Billy Shakespeare and Elizabeth Barret Browning

Who are your heroes in real life?
Proust: Monsieur Darlu, Monsieur Boutroux (professors)
My answer: Pope John Paul II

Who are your favorite heroines of history?
Proust: Cleopatra
My answer: Cory Aquino

What are your favorite names?
Proust: I only have one at a time.
Your answer: Miguel, Lucas and Brando for males. Anne, Amy (pronounce it the stateside way, Eeeymee) and Dalisay for females

What historical figures do you most despise?
Proust: I am not sufficiently educated to say.
My answer: Anyone who didn’t matter. They didn’t matter because they weren’t included in history books.

What event in military history do you most admire?
Proust: My own enlistment as a volunteer!
My answer: World War II

What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Proust: Will power and irresistible charm
My answer: punctuality, intelligence and sense of calm

How would you like to die?
Proust: A better man than I am, and much beloved
My answer: catching a bullet for the Pope, being struck by lightning (the only way you could feel Eugene’s raygun) and saving a child from a raging bull or speeding truck

What is your present state of mind?
Proust: Annoyance at having to think about myself in order to answer these questions
My answer: Impatience. When are we getting to that much awaited final question? (marionsilver: hahahahaha! Same!)

Final question: (yes!) What is your motto?
Proust: I prefer not to say, for fear it might bring me bad luck.
My answer: (Looks up at Proust’s answer) Hmm. Ok, I shall resign myself to superstition for now. (Looks into Marionsilver’s answer). Okay Me too.

I won!

I am one of the four winners of a copy of Noli Me Tangere English Version by Leon Ma. Guerrero. It was an essay writing contest by Ms, Jessica Zafra, which is based under the premise of what would Jose Rizal have to say about our current situation. I haven’t claimed my prize yet. I just upgraded that blog entry and put it under the “The Words of Our Lives” page. So there! If you’re interested to read the other contestants’ entries, click here to get to Ms. Zafra’s blog.

To think of it, this is the first time I joined such contests. Ehem.

Dyahe Ho!

Have you watched Slumdog Millionaire? Take a look at the characters: the good brother, the evil-but-reformed-in-the-end other brother, the Muslim vs. non-Muslims, the garbage dumps, the dilapidated shacks, the evil syndicate that collects children to be made as beggars, the call center agents, the woman the good brother has been searching for his entire life, and ultimately, Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? Aren’t the setup and the plotline familiar? Of course! The movie screams of “proudly Pinoy!” The dumps being the Payatas, the brothers who rode the train could have been from Bicol, and every streets and alleyways reflect Manila. When I watched this movie, I imagined the Pinoy Directors were dying in envy and the producers foaming in their mouths. I imagine them saying “I could have made this movie! With an all-Filipino cast, with an even better closing dance number. Even the half-Filipina Nicole Scherzinger could’ve still sung the soundtrack, Pinoy Way! All that they needed is Jose Javier Reyes or any music video director. Sayang!

A New Blogger’s Lullabye

When I started to seriously attempt to blog just last month, I realized that I cannot possibly be alone in this blogosphere. I just thought back then that an online journal like this can be viewed only by the people you chose to blog with (unless you defaulted your profile to Private). Time after time my dirges are caught up in the waves of surfing. People will leave their comments in my box, I answer back to them, view their own blogs and then I just realized that I’m part of the world I thought was for solitary geeks only. In my blogroll you can see the bloggers I followed through because they got me.

I like their blogs for the pleasure of reading and the snippets of learning that I can get from them. Some of them are entertaining, some are depressing, some are spewing with rage and some are really out of this world. I’m still searching for blogs that has the knack to catch my attention.

A message to my blogrollers:

Fellow inmates, let me do the honor of congratulating you for a job well done! You just made my stay here simply memorable.

Not so Cool? Wow you’re Cool!

There was a time in my life around late 90’s, where cool is cool while the opposite isn’t, strange is strange and is unacceptable and the world is about Leonardo di Caprio. That was the world back then, living the excesses of the 80’s and the promise of change in the 90’s. That was the world back then and there I was, sitting at the front of our TV watching what I consider the only prophetic message that came true, Cow and Chicken. You see, I was a huge, dark and pimply kid back then so I epitomized the opposite of the first statements I said here.

The world for me back then is fleeting in coolness based on what they are seeing on MTV. Then Cow and Chicken came. They became my instant brother and sister back then because it was with them I realized that being cool is not always cool. Their universe was strange, having parents with body parts consisting of only waist down and a red guy who always got them into trouble. Cow and Chicken, being uncool themselves, were mocked in school and always got into strange situations. I kinda related with them because of that. It was me! And what made it even better were the weirder characters that surrounded them. Like their cousin Boneless, who got no skeleton inside therefore is vulnerable to ridicule and bullyings. They also have their cousin Black Sheep, who’s always accused of something bad because he’s a black sheep, where in reality he’s actually nice. To all of the nerds, the bullied and the uncools, who would not see your oppressor’s image in the Red Guy.

Our clique back then is the real life cast of Cow and Chicken. We were the uncool guys of elementary school, living our own world at the school’s lunch shed (which is at the corner of the school, near the church entrance. COOL people would not hang back there. It’s far from the crowd. We, we don’t need the crowd). Then the unexpected happened. Cow and Chicken was removed at Cartoon Network. I think it was because of the show’s low ratings. Of course the world is teeming with cool people, and only the few uncools will watch it.

Now it’s 2009. Now the uncool is the new school, strangeness is now a badge of honor and who is Leonardo? Oh, he’s from Titanic! The Cow and Chicken Prophecy has come true. The whole universe is now the cast of Cow and Chicken. Please bring back my 90’s.

The Month Ender: The Inexplicable Absence

As you can see in my archives, I had posted entries on September 2008 and the next posts will come on August 2009. So if my archives hit September 2009 I couldn’t call it a year because I had only three months worth of wasting webspace. Now it got me really asking HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? A ten month absence but the WordPress account is still there. So I capitalized the situation and once again I’m writing here like crazy to placate the absence. If you care to read I will try to rationalize my apparent absence with some lame excuses. 

1. I got really lazy? Maybe I am lazy because for the past few months I will hit the sack right after I came from work.
2. Lack of inspiration? Maybe it’s just constpation. When you sleep you ass off all day long and go to work right after you wake up and you do it everyday is pretty ritualistic and redundant. It drains your inspiration.
3. Writer’s Block. Doctors recommend Bum Glue. I now use it frequently.
4. The recession. Recession really scared the hell out of me, I concentrated on my work so I won’t be labeled as expendable and get fired. Now I’m ready to get fired so I concentrated on writing haha!
5. Last but not the least, Lack of Writing Materials. I bought a large notebook, a good pen, installed Opera Mini on my cell rallied the support of my girlfriend. A laptop or a desktop with Internet connection would be nice, but in time I have to learn to be content.

 September will come, a very special month for me but I still don’t have an idea what will happen to this webspace. If only I can sell this, I will. But for now I have to write in this webspace per my doctor’s recommendations.